A man and woman caught shoplifting at a Walgreens barely had a whiff of victory as they exited the store before being approached by employees. Fine, you got pinched, give it back and go home, or make a run for it as I’m almost positive the DA won’t charge you anyway, right? Not a chance. This one ends with shots fired and one less violent criminal on the streets. 

The shooting was reported at around 2:10 am outside Walgreens on Torrence Ave., in Calumet City, Illinois. According to authorities, a 42-year-old man and a 48-year-old woman were stopped by employees after walking out of the store with the stolen loot. Employees were able to take back the merchandise from the woman, who must have stayed in school longer than her partner, as she had the good sense to cut her losses and take off on foot, successfully fleeing the scene. 

The man, however, had different plans as he brandished a gun pointing it at the workers and causing me to wonder what in the world he could possibly steal from Walgreens that was worth escalating things to this level. My guess is either Campbell’s Star Wars Edition condensed soup or a 10-second Flex-Tip Digital Thermometer. 

According to the Calumet City Police Department, one of the Walgreens employees who possessed a concealed carry license responded by opening fire with his own weapon, striking the suspect in the chest before he fled injured. The man was found soon afterward by Calumet Police driving a vehicle in the 1600 block of Sibley Boulevard near Yates Avenue. Obviously wounded, the suspect was rushed to a local trauma center where he later died from his injuries. 

According to the Cook County Medical Examiner’s Office, the man who took the room temperature challenge was identified as Mario Almendarez of Chicago. The female who fled the scene has not yet been identified. 

Criminals do the darndest things, and sure, I like to poke fun at them from time to time because my parents had a sense of humor and named me Darwin, obligating me to respect the theory of natural selection and ultimately making me feel like I have a say in who wins an award with my name on it. In any event, the real question of interest here is whether or not our shooter kept his job with Walgreens after the incident.