One thing we should all try to avoid is the echo chamber.

It’s important that we hear what all sides are saying to some degree, if for no other reason than to know how to counter their arguments should the need arise. This is actually true of anything, not just politics, and can be a very healthy thing. Even if it doesn’t change your thinking, and it often won’t, you can at least articulate what the other side is saying.

But the truth of the matter is that if you’re a gun-rights advocate, it’s impossible to live in an echo chamber on the issue without going to rather insane lengths. Gun control is pushed everywhere and by pretty much every institution out there.

I mean, it’s pretty bad when I have to give credit to the New York Times for not completely sucking in their gun coverage.

Yet an op-ed came across my feed that says what we really need to do on guns is listen.

It starts with the author having a conversation with kids about school shootings and such, so you kind of know from the start where this is going, but then a bit later, we get to this:

If you think this is about to be a lecture on why we need excessively restrictive gun laws in our country, you’re wrong. I once felt that way. I don’t anymore, thanks in large part to this project. 

I have never owned a gun. But growing up in Pennsylvania, where hunting is a cherished pastime in many families, and the first day of deer hunting is a celebrated part of Thanksgiving weekend every year, I never judged anyone who owned and loved firearms. 

I fired my first guns with a friend on his Maryland farm a few years ago and felt the power, energy and camaraderie so many people enjoy for the first time. I’ve come to get it. I’ve come to respect people who love gun culture and are committed to owning firearms safely. And I’ve come to acknowledge that the ultimate solutions to reduce gun violence are more layered and nuanced than I once believed. But what’s straightforward and clear is that nothing will ever happen if we can’t communicate honestly with one another. 

I have now spent nearly two years traveling the country, listening to people talk about gun rights, gun culture and gun violence.

My first thought was, “Good. Someone coming around.”

It didn’t last, because we soon got to this:

If you think this is about to be a lecture on why we need excessively restrictive gun laws in our country, you’re wrong. I once felt that way. I don’t anymore, thanks in large part to this project. 

I have never owned a gun. But growing up in Pennsylvania, where hunting is a cherished pastime in many families, and the first day of deer hunting is a celebrated part of Thanksgiving weekend every year, I never judged anyone who owned and loved firearms. 

I fired my first guns with a friend on his Maryland farm a few years ago and felt the power, energy and camaraderie so many people enjoy for the first time. I’ve come to get it. I’ve come to respect people who love gun culture and are committed to owning firearms safely. And I’ve come to acknowledge that the ultimate solutions to reduce gun violence are more layered and nuanced than I once believed. But what’s straightforward and clear is that nothing will ever happen if we can’t communicate honestly with one another. 

I have now spent nearly two years traveling the country, listening to people talk about gun rights, gun culture and gun violence. 

…

When former Democratic Congressman Beto O’Rourke told gun owners, “Hell yes, we’re going to take your AR-15, your AK-47,” he made clear he isn’t interested in having the tough conversations.

When the NRA warns that any talk of incremental changes to law — like tougher penalties for parents who leave their firearms unlocked — are a slippery slope towards ending the Second Amendment, they too are entrenching on the issue.

In other words, we’re once again being implored to compromise.

Here’s the thing the author here is missing. We have listened. We’ve heard every argument, every plea. We’ve seen every report and heard every claim.

We’ve listened.

For decades, we listened and complied. Gun rights supporters of years gone by gave up a little, probably figuring it would preserve the rest. They gave a little ground in 1934, then again in 1968. It happened in numerous states far more often, too. People wanted to play nice, to be seen to be listening.

And time and time again, what happened was we listened, gave a little ground, then we listened some more as the same people who offered their “compromise” suddenly wanted more. They never held their ground, not even long enough to see if what was in place would work. They just immediately started pushing for more.

We listened, and we learned.

What we learned is that the conversation is only ever going to be one way. They’re never going to accept what we say. If we point out that things like universal background checks and mandatory storage laws are an infringement on our rights, they don’t listen to us. They tell us that there’s no infringement at all.

Above, someone talked about how we need to meet in the middle, but the truth is that the middle always brings them closer to their goal and pulls us farther away from ours. Every single time we met in the middle, we lost a bit of our gun rights. There’s never any desire to address that or even just acknowledge it.

They don’t listen when we show them that the people who are the problem aren’t buying guns lawfully. They aren’t listening when we show them that so-called assault weapons aren’t used in crime that often, and the high-profile crimes that are pointed at to justify demonization of them could have been carried out with other firearms–and have been! They aren’t listening when we talk about the people who watched family die because they were disarmed by law. 

And sitting down with them and saying they’re going to listen is irrelevant because they’re not going to change their views. They’re going to still call for some of our rights now and demand the rest later.

So while we may listen, we’re not going to play this game. We’re not going to be reasonable with unreasonable people. We’re not going to go along to get along.

We did that and they always came for more.

We. Want. Our. Cake. Back.

Until you’re ready to listen on that, we’ve got nothing more to say.