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Suspect reportedly took concealed carry way too far

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We know good and well that you will never fully disarm criminals. The bad guys will find a way to get weapons no matter what kind of environment you try to create.

After all, weapons show up in prisons from time to time.

But most suspects police encounter aren’t exactly geniuses. They’ll do some pretty ridiculous things to hide the fact that they have a gun illegally, even if it’s unsuccessful.

People like this guy.

A man faces multiple charges after police say he hid part of a gun in his anal canal, according to a police report.

Just after 12:30 a.m. last Tuesday, Police made a traffic stop on State Route 7 near Heck Road in Columbiana after noticing expired registration on a vehicle, according to the report.

Reports say an officer approached the vehicle and saw a suspect in the passenger’s seat put the slide of a gun in the back seat. The passenger also had a plastic bag in his lap that he was trying to get onto the floor, according to the report. Police also noticed a decent amount of marijuana shake on his lap.

As police transported Mitchell to the jail, they found he kept reaching into his pants and fidgeting during the car ride.

Without prompting, Mitchell also reportedly mentioned he thought his friend had taken the recoil spring of the gun at some point, the report stated.

After Mitchell was booked, police found the recoil spring in the trash can of the booking room, wrapped in toilet paper, according to the report.

Video footage of the room shows Mitchell digging around in his pants and then disposing of the spring in the trash can, according to the report. Police believe Mitchell kept the spring in his anus.

Of course, why you’d try to hide the recoil spring of all things is beyond me. While it’s an important part of the firearm, it’s not like it’s not a gun if the spring isn’t there.

What the suspect apparently tried to do doesn’t make much sense, but the fact that he put a gun part up his butthole really tells you something about the kind of mental giants that fill our jails, doesn’t it?

There’s really not much of a political point to this story, nor is it particularly useful for the average law-abiding citizen.

If anything, though, it’s more evidence that your garden variety criminal suspect isn’t that bright and will do all kinds of stupid things, things that couldn’t possibly keep them from not getting in trouble but could most definitely land them in even more hot water.

Yet if someone this stupid is able to get a firearm without a problem, then just how does anyone think gun control will actually disarm people who have more than three semi-functional brain cells?

You know, the kind of people who don’t think sticking a recoil spring up your bumhole is a winning strategy when faced with law enforcement. Those kinds of people aren’t likely to have that much trouble skirting gun control laws either, only they’re less likely to get caught.


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